I've recently been staggered of how many of my friends are going through really difficult times. It has struck me that no one is immune to going through hardships; if we are human it's almost a guarantee that we will have to go through some valleys in life before we can climb the mountain top.
Can our circumstances make us a better person.....or a bitter person? We can all become broken at times, but how do we get back onto the road of healing? Here are 8 things that can be helpful:
There's nothing wrong with crying - it is proven scientifically that there's nothing better than a good cry to help relieve our stress and emotions. By crying we are releasing our hurt rather than having to bury it deep within us. Often if we keep our emotions in it will take a lot longer to heal our hurts. Crying can be seen as weakness by some but it really does help get our hurts out so we can move forward.
Talk to people you can trust - when you go through difficulties get around family and friends that love you and that you trust. There's nothing like a good chat to help get our feelings out. Arrange to meet you're trusted friends for coffee or lunch and have a good chin-wag. It also helps us think through our situation and decide on the best way forward. Ensure you meet with people you can trust and ensure you pick your friends well; not ones that are likely to spread gossip.
Keep a grip on hope - when we face hardships we often feel a sense of hopelessness; that things are never going to improve. It's vital to keep hold of some kind of hope that things will improve with time and that things will eventually get better. Don't forget this - H.O.P.E (Hold On Pain Ends).
Don't let fear rule - our fears can often misconstrue the actually truth of a situation. Fear can sometimes take over and we cannot focus on anything else but the problem. For some, often fears can make a mountain out of a molehill, and it's not until we look back later that we realise the problem was a lot smaller than we thought. As we go through dark times, we have to try and let go of our fears and turn them into faith.
Focus on your blessings - through hardships it's good to remember your blessings, ie. your children, job, family etc. It's good to change your focus to the things you have got currently in your life, rather than that things you currently do not have. This helps us again focus on the positives.
Build your confidence - our confidence in ourselves and our self esteem can sometimes be knocked as we go through hardships. We can often blame ourselves for things that we really shouldn't. It's good to remember however, that you are a great person with lots a value. Ensure you keep in mind your value and your worth. You are amazing - don't let anyone tell you different!
You are not alone - it helps us to know that usually there are other people going through the same things as you; you are not an alien but are normal! As we realise this we can get along side others and help them too.
Use your pain to eventually help someone else - I think this one is amazing - that we can use the experiences we have been through to then help others overcome theirs. When we go through something difficult it often puts us in the shoes of others and we are able to help and sympathize more effectively. We are also able to spot the same hurts in others and go and give them a word of encouragement.
As a christian myself I also take my burdens to God. It says in Matt 11 v 30 -
Jesus said: "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light". Even if everything else is falling around me, I find my faith is somewhere I can go for peace. Peace of mind and soul, and a way to get myself back on the right track for life.
Whatever your circumstance today, be proud of how far you have already come and keep focusing on the hope and faith to move forward.
Love and blessings.
Caroline xx
Ever felt like you've squandered your life a little; like you may have wasted some years doing certain things but to no gain. May be you feel like things should have turned out better for you and you're disappointed about your life.
I think all of us can relate to this a little, but the great thing is we don't have to stay in that place of waste and wanting. We can change our lives by pursuing our purpose and aiming for higher ground. May be it's time to let go of those things we once thought important, especially if they are stopping us moving forward. It's never too late to change our lives.
There's a story in the Bible of a young boy that took his inheritance early from his father and squandered it all on good living. Eventually this good living caught up with him and he had nothing left; no money, no friends and quite probably ill health because of his lifestyle. He hit rock bottom before he came to his senses.
The boy was so desperate that in the end that he decided to humble himself and go back to his father, expecting him to be very angry. So he returned and while he was still along way off, his father saw him coming. Rather than being angry, he was filled with love and compassion - he ran to his son and embraced him with a kissed him. But the son said "Father I have done wrong and no longer deserve to be called your son". Immediately the father said to the servants, "Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him, give him gifts and lets celebrate with a feast - for this son of mine was once lost but now he is found!
What an amazing story of love, compassion, forgiveness & hope. The father is actually an illustration of God our heavenly father and the son is an illustration of us at some points in our lives. We have all made mistakes, we have all wasted our time and energies on wrong things, we have all been broken and we have all got ourselves into problems, however, it's never too late to return to our heavenly father.
The great thing is that nothing we can do or say would make God love us less. Wow, this is God's love for you and me - it's endless. God will never impose himself upon us but rather He is waiting patiently for us to come back to Him.
It's better to stop and look at our lives before we hit rock bottom - we will save ourselves much grief. We can all change with a little time and help, but we have to make the first difficult steps to help ourselves. Be encouraged.
Love Caroline x
Taken from The Bible, Luke 15 - The parable of 'The Prodigal Son'.
Does God really listen to us when we call out to him?
It doesn't matter whether you practice faith or not, the act of coming to God with a sincere prayer, causes Him to act and do something. He loves us and will help us if we are first willing to come to Him. When we take this first step it shows God we have at least an ounce of faith (confident belief) in Him. It says in the bible, faith as small as a mustard seed will move mountains. I believe this is what God is talking about here; faith no matter how small means such a lot to God and is very powerful! If faith as small as this can cause God to move imagine what big faith can do!
I recently read a book called 'Beautiful' by Katie Piper (the girl who had acid thrown at her face in 2007), here is a quote from her book: "For the first
time in my life I prayed to God I'd never believed in: please help me,
give me strength, show me a way through this. But even then I'd decided
I was going kill myself - take an overdose or throw myself out of a
car. But then all of a sudden the weirdest feeling crept over me. It
felt like a warm hug as though I was filled with light. I heard a voice
say: everything is gonna be OK. You're journey's just begun &
you'll get through this. May be God answered me".
Also very recently, we had a charity called Teen Challenge visit our church, the guys helped by the charity all had terrible issues of rejection, addiction and drug abuse. One girl came from a family of drug users, she also did drugs because it was the norm. She got herself into trouble many times, eventually losing everything she had, including her home, family, friends and possessions. In her desperate need, she prayed for the first time; "please help me, get me out of this God, please do something". A few weeks later someone invited her to church, but she very skeptical about it, however through this she then got introduced to the Teen Challenge programme. She was able to go into rehab and is now completely free of all addictions; she has her life back again. A quote from her: "God heard my prayer and helped me get in touch with people that could help rescue me".
On a personal note, I have prayed for 2 years now for God to provide a job for me to start this Autumn. I was offered the perfect job only a few weeks ago, exactly at the right time, exactly in the right line of work when I needed it.
There are many other examples of God acting when we pray. Two of the examples above are of people who had never prayed in their life before, but it still caused God to move and do something and help them in their circumstances. With confidence we can call upon Him because the God of the bible is a prayer-hearing God!
It's never too late to pray, even if you haven't before. You don't need to be a perfect person, we can come as we are! We live in a very non-spiritual society today but it's better not to leave it so late in the day that when we pray, we are either in great distress or on our death beds. God wants us to speak with Him when times are good too. For those that pray regularly if hard times hit, you can guarantee God has already worked out your help - don't you just love that.
Lv Caroline xx
Bible Verses:
Psalm 18 v 6 - In my distress I cried to the Lord for his help, and he heard me from heaven.
Ex 22 v 23 - When they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.
Psalm 34v 8 - I call out to the LORD, and he answers me.
Psalm 31 v 22 - In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight!" Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.
Psalm 50v15 - Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.
Psalm 66v 19 - God has surely listened and has heard my prayer.
Psalm 118 v 5 - When hard pressed, I cried to the LORD; he brought me into a spacious place.
